The fact that I’m able to write and release this automatically underpins the point of the whole premise of this post but let me talk about what I mean. Writers block is always something that I’ve factored into my release schedule, at any time I can take roughly a two week break and still be fine, but sometimes it gets worrying.
Not having enough ideas is the main problem I’ve been going through, it feels like I’m getting my ideas out far faster than I’m obtaining them and I’m burning through a fuse which has little life yet to live. So what should I do about it? Well this is the issue: Idea fatigue. I have ideas, quite a lot of them, it’s just that I express it easily in less than 100 words and it feels too cheap, underdeveloped and unimportant to release. I’m fairly low popularity anyway and nobody’s holding me to a standard except myself. It’s just for a phrase I’ve learned called “artistic integrity” and it means that every post needs to be good enough that I would like it if I read it for the first time and have no criticisms. My blog needs to be the kind of thing that if I sent it to myself from a few months ago (and the posts were original) I’d be hooked on it instantly (ideas wise, I don’t really care about rigorously proof reading, just several proof reads at the end or something like that). This for example isn’t good enough to send back ideas wise, even if I spent a long time refining it to be perfect structurally and technically it’s not intellectually good enough in my opinion.
So why release this? Why do this at all? Well for the most part this is just updating and following advice. People tell you to just write, just write about anything! That’s easy enough but beside the point. My favourite inspirational song lyric is from a song called get action: “What the hell is writers block? I’ve never had it. Sounds like an excuse for you hacks who can’t hack it” and it basically gives you a big shove up the ass when you’re being overly melodramatic and sad. I’m determined to never have writers block because I won’t let it exist. I can write about anything I want to do with anything ever; test me! But I can’t promise that it will be any good or have any substance what-so-ever. I can ramble for ages (as demonstrated, oh wait this isn’t actually that long so far! It feels like an undergraduate thesis in length) but I’m extremely dissatisfied with the result and would rather not release it.
I keep on mentioning having high standards for ideas so why is this on here? Well advice has told me to just ramble for ages just to make you keep going, and hopefully you’ll get over it. This is the only real topic I can ramble on without reaching my concluding point straight away: something simple. And if doing this is what it takes to get over this artistic dip in quality I’m more than happy to do it!
(As A side note I recommend you stop reading now, wish me best of luck and leave, I don’t care either way but I sense that it’s downhill from here. Then again my rambles can tend to be my most liked posts or most angry so judge it yourself.)
I just realised that this would have been so cool if I did one of those things you know those things. I thought it would be a cool idea to write about the annoyance of it all and then do a thing where I say “Read all the sentences backwards!” And then it turns out to be something inspirational and dumb. Don’t try that, you’ll waste your time – it would be pretty cool though. I should try that once I’ve solved it all.
When I read other blogs I feel bad when that actual post is bad for some strange reason. As soon as I’ve clicked on the post I feel like I’ve committed to something and I need to finish it. So when I skip over most of it completely (because it’s really long, pointlessly long, I already get it, or just boring) I kind of feel bad about it even though it’s not really my fault. That’s why my ideas and points have been short recently: I don’t want to repeat myself or explain more when I don’t really need too, it’s just a shame that I’m too far to the point and feel happy/sad to leave it there.
There’s also this expectation whenever you comment or like a post that you’ve read or understood the whole thing and people are sometimes very against you for just sharing what you think. It’s really strange to leave a comment and then receive this “as I said” bullshit and then only partially relate it to whatever you said. Could it be that perhaps I wanted to know more about what you said at that time? Or could it be because you didn’t express it well enough? For me it’s one or two of those things and it aggravates me to get this ironic condescending tone when you’re just interested. Too be fair it’s not bad all of the time but whatever.
I bring this up because I often feel like I want to prove myself. I always try and leave a comment to show that I’ve appreciated what they’ve written/ found something good about it and often like when I can’t come up with anything to say. I just want to say to the person I’ve liked it “Hey! This is cool!” without showing that I don’t have much discussion to offer on my end. Is that too much to ask? I probably shouldn’t ask…
I’m going to tie this together with the point that I feel alienated from my own “community” of people who like and follow (not comment, I love those) because I have no idea what they’re thinking and always suspect. I go “Did this person like to advertise or did they actually like it” and I’m never really sure because I never talk about these kinds of things with bloggers, and even if I did they definitely wouldn’t admit that. Liking and following is a good way of getting popularity but it feels so scummy if you’re not going to keep at it and just use them to continue growing. So it’s almost like I’m being used by people who claim they like me. It’s not like that for everyone but I do question a hell of a lot. I’ve had plenty of experience with this. The most notable being that in a blog post share thing I submitted a 4,000 word post and one minute got a follower who liked it and followed. A follower who never read it, and never will read anything I release. It’s seriously annoying. But what can you do? I guess not a lot.
I should leave it at that. This is talking more about real life blog things instead of what I talk about blog wise so I doubt it’s helping too much. But oh well, I hope you got something out of it.
Also links to blog posts with advice will be blocked, unless I change my mind. This is because writers block really isn’t the issue here and you know what I’ve said earlier! Thanks for reading, you deserve a pat on the back if you had the patience to read this entire thing, I’m sure I’ll get out of this soon but it’s still pretty annoying!