The Create a Story Tag: Fall + Mountain + Comedy

I really like the idea of the create a story tag so I’m basically starting joining it now without being tagged because it looks like fun. From TPAB’s post it looks like this is something you can just join, you don’t have to be tagged! (but it helps)
Rules!

  1. You pick your first word, your setting and your story genre from the list below. As individuals, your brand of creativity is unique to yours, so we want to highlight that by letting you choose from a bunch of words and creating something beautiful out of it.
First Word Setting Genre
Fall
Fire
Music
Station
Rain
Hospital
Mountain
Sea
School
Street
Comedy
Drama
Slice of Life
Romance
Tragedy
  1. The short story will have a limit of 1000 words. You do not need to write a story with 1000 words exactly. It could be 300, or 500 as long as it doesn’t surpass a thousand.
  2. YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER THE TAG.
  3. You must tag three people to participate.
  4. Don’t forget to link back to Keiko (use her latest post for now) so she can collect all the stories. You can’t just link back to her wordpress, since she won’t be alerted of the pingback. You need to link back to a post or a page, because wordpress works like this.
  5. Use the Create-A-Story picture in the post.
  6. Copy and paste the rules in your tag post as well, so others can be clued in to the Create-A-Story rules.

By the way the title of my story is “Punslinger Mountain”


Climbing up the mountain would have been easy, if I didn’t keep on falling over! I would fall and fall and fall, bouncing 50m each time due to my bouncy skin!

I landed at the bottom for the 11th time and saw a large statue of a bird, would be great if I had a related joke, wooden tit.

“I see you’re admiring my fabulous statue!” said the guy who had made the statue. But I saw something better, it was a wonderful electric fence!

“What about that fence?”

“Yeah I made that too. It took a lot of convincing, and still right now lots of people are dead against it.” I could see that, a lot of people had died touching it.

“But what about that beak, that must have been made by a fine blacksmith” I said.

“That was me too” the creator of everything said “I’m a great blacksmith. I’m so good I taught my dog, the first thing he made was a bolt for the door.”

“What else did he make?” I asked. The creator just looked at me.

“Have you heard the news of that nutter who’s still travelling down the motorway the wrong way?”

“Oh no I better call my husband!” I said “He’s driving today.”

I called him

“Be careful! The news said that there was a guy who was travelling down the motorway the wrong way!”

“It’s worse than that…” he replied “There are thousands of them”

I hung up.

“How long have you been married?”
“12 years.”

“Do you have children?” He asked.

“Well my husband and I have agreed that we don’t want any children. So if you do, give us a call and we’ll drop them off tomorrow.” I replied.

I carried with me some super glue so that I wouldn’t drop down the mountain. At this point it was clear it wasn’t useful so I dropped it, without realizing I had dropped it on a pile of darts and arrows bellow me.

“Hey did you put superglue on my dart?” The creator said.

“You just can’t let it go can you?” I replied.

“Where do you keep your arrows?”

“In a quiver”

“W…w…w…where d…d…do y….y…ou k…keep your arrows?”

“Hey you’re shoes are undone” The creator said to me

“Velcro, what a rip off”

“Oh dear I’m sensing alarm bells.” The creator said.

“Why?” I asked.

“We’re not even half way through this story.”

I was very sad that the creator had broken the fourth wall, so I pushed him through it and carried on with my day.

After this I had deep thoughts.

“How can one grain of sand change the beach?”

“How can one drop change the peach?”

“How can one tiny crumb change the food?”

“How can one digeridoo change the mood?”

“BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…”

“How…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“can…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“CAN YOU STOP PLAYING NOW!”

The guy who was playing dropped his digeridoo.”

“Who are you?” I asked

“AAAAA HEE HEE” He said sqeakilly “I’m Bruce Willis Hee hee hee I love ponies and dance he heee!”

Me: “…”

“Sorry…” said Bruce Willis “I think I’ve given you the wrong impression.”

“Is that your real name then?”

“No move on to something else, I don’t have a joke for that one.”

“Alright then, do you like plane rides?”

“Wow how convenient.”

“I was playing football on an airplane, and I was running up the wing…”

“Alright I think that’s enough don’t you?” I said.

“No please! I tried to be a comedian, but they kicked me out of my job and made me be a garbage man! I said I didn’t know how to be a bin man but they said I’d pick it up as I went along!”

“Oh please” I replied. “That’s not sad at all! You think that’s bad. When I was young I had to walk the plank! Our family couldn’t afford a dog!”

The real Bruce Willis appeared.

“Oh we were just talking about you” I said to him

“You disgust me” He replied.

“That’s right we did.”

“Hey how about this?” Fake Bruce Willis said “I’ve got a lot of chimney jokes, in fact a stack of them, the first one is on the house!”

“No go away.”

“I think that’s kind of funny” the real Bruce said.

We would have continued our nice chat but it was cut short by the sight of a ferocious beast.

“It’s a massive snail! Walk for your lives!” Bruce shouted so we bounced up the mountain.

When we got further up we saw a guy watching the world cup, it was Japan vs Belgium.

“That match was great” I said to the footie fan “But why did the japanese start doing martial arts at the end of the game?”

“What do you mean?” The footie fan responded “It was two extra minutes of ninjery time.”

We were in a room with three walls.

“What happened to the fourth wall?” I asked

“Well I broke it when someone pushed me through it.” He replied.

“Wait that was me!” I said “I pushed you through it.”

Without warning the creator (who was disguised as the footie fan) put his head through a window.

“I don’t know why I put myself through this.” He said.

“Why are you even here?” Said the creator.

“I’m on the hunt for the legendary punslinger Tim Vine, he’s on the mountain.”

“Ah yes I will take you to him.”

At the peak of the mountain the creator revealed himself to be Tim Vine.

“Tim!” Bruce Willis said “I’m a huge fan please give me an autograph in this book.”

“Bruce…” Tim said “This is completely the wrong way around!”

“Huh?”

“You’re book is upside down” He said.

“Ah I see.”

Today was a dream come true.

“If there’s just one lesson you can learn from today, it’s about a sunset.” Tim said as he pointed to the sunset.

“A sunset is… at the end of the day…”


Hey thanks for reading! What do you think? Also I’m tagging 3 people: Zainou, KingDylbag and thespookyredhead

Also I forgot to say these earlier but all jokes in here are from memory.

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